…although that should really be ‘answer’. But the Moody Blues never did give us the answer, did they? Anyway, in response to numerous requests (one),herewith the answers to the Christmas quiz. Apologies because the formatting has gone a bit strange, but it’s late, I’m tired, I don’t know much about computational technologies…I hope you didn’t get too drunk doing this… oh, and Happy New Year to all (belatedly)!!

Section One Waxing lyrical

1)does anyone know the way, did we hear someone say we just havent got a clue WHAT to do. Band and song, please. SWEET,BLOCKBUSTER
2) who would think a boy and bear would be well accepted everywhere, its just amazing how fair people can be. . A cover song! A great cover song original writer/artist, cover artist and name of song this time, please. Then you can have a drink! (clue to the writer to infinity and beyond!)RANDY NEWMAN,SIMON SMITH & THE AMAZING DANCING BEAR,COVERED BY THE GREAT ALAN PRICE
3) I saw two shooting stars last night I wished on them, but they were only satellites A cover song again same as above, then another drink!BILLY BRAGG,KIRSTY MCCOLL, A NEW ENGLAND
4) Really difficult unless you are British, this one. What connects the above answers? (cryptic clue: Track 1 side 1 of ?the Third Roxy Music Album may point you in the right direction?) STREET LIFE – HIGH STREET SHOPS (WH SMITHS, BLOCKBUSTER,MCCOLLS)

Section Two cryptic and just plain ornery

5) What connects Mr. Pitiful, a certain mighty Eskimo, Michael Jacksons rat of a friend and those who were born of frustration? Only certain persons reading this may get this one they should have a Tequila slammer if they do OTIS & QUINN, SONS OF BEN & JAMES
6)Who was moody blue, but had the balls to go off and fight for his country before growing wings? Please say you dont mind me asking his name? DENNY LAINE
*this may not be cryptic
Section Three ? Who are you?

8) ? Happy Christmas my arse, I hope it?s your last!? How often have we thought that when we?ve been stuck in that queue in HMV for ¾ of an hour? but who said that to whom and in which song? KIRSTY MCCOLL TO SHANE MCGOWAN”A FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK”THEPOGUES
9) Who produced the Clash album ?Give ?em enough rope??SANDY PERLMAN
10) And what was the biggest hit achieved by the band that he managed for his day job?”DON’T FEAR THE REAPER” BLUE OYSTER CULT
11) By what names did the following achieve fame (actors also included in this one, so make those doubles triples?!) a) Mark Feld MARC BOLAN b) David Jones DAVID BOWIE c) Archibald Leach CARY GRANT d) Marion Morrison JOHN WAYNE e) William Broad BILLY IDOL f) William Pratt BORIS KARLOFF g) Vincent Furnier ALICE COOPER
12) What kind of animal was ?Happy Jack?? (By now you should be very happy also?) A (FURRY) DONKEY
13) Who was the space cowboy, gangster of love and Maurice? (clue: this question has nowt to do with the Bee Gees)STEVE MILLER (THE JOKER)
14) Who is the arguably more famous other half of incredible guitar picker Dave Rawlings? GILLIAN WELCH
15) Who had a dog called Strider, immortalized in song on the third album from the band that started life as the New Yardbirds? ROBERT PLANT And what was the song? BRON-Y-AUR STOMP And why do the birds keep on singing? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don?t they know it?s the end of the world??? IT ENDED WHEN YOU SAID GOODBYE

Section Four ? What?s the point of sections anyway? Trivia, its all trivia

16) On which Morrissey album does the amplified sound of a power drill stand in for the sound of a motorcycle revving? VAUXHALL AND I (SPEEDWAY)
17) ?and on which Roxy Music track did they actually record a motorcycle speeding down Basing St. in London to add authenticity to the rebellious nature of the lyric? VIRGINIA PLAIN
18) How many deadly Finns were encountered by Brian Eno? SEVEN
20) Which group rode the equestrian statue to the edge of the popular music charts, then were shocked to find a doughnut in granny?s greenhouse? THE BONZO DOG DOO-DAH BAND And what exactly was the doughnut anyway?.? A POO – GRANNY’s GREENHOUSE BEING EUPHEMISM FOR OUTSIDE TOILET You might need your Mr. Hanky for this one?
21) ?the path was deep and wide from footsteps leading to our cabin, above the door there burned a scarlet lamp?? ooo-er missus ? the son of whom was singing this, HICKORY HOLLER’S TRAMP and what was he better known as to the world of 60?s soul? O.C. SMITH
22) Which animal links the legendary Goodies with the band who gave us ?Cheap Sunglasses?? GIBBON (FUNKY AND BILLY)
23) My son Otis currently sports a hairstyle inspired by which of these seminal 80?s bands a) Modern Romance b) the Thompson Twins or c) A Flock of Seagulls? (I currently sport a hairstyle influenced by Alf Garnett) C – ALTHOUGH HE HAS NOW HAD A HAIRCUT AND RESEMBLES TIN-TIN
24) They had a friend called Stan from far, far away (he was a banging man) and this time of year wouldn?t be the same without them ? who were they? SLADE
25) In which Carry On film did The Great Kenneth Williams utter these immortal words ?infamy, infamy! They?ve all got it infamy!?? CARRY ON CLEO
26) ?and whose first album included a lengthy musical workout about a woman named Suzi Q? CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL
27) What was the name of the South African born record producer who was the mastermind behind feisty little Suzi Quatro? MICKY MOST
28) which band, favourites of the Old Grey Whistle Test and the darlings of many 1970?s music critics exhorted quarreling lovers to ?turn up the Eagles, the neighbours are listening? and advised us that ?showbusiness kids, making movies of themselves, you know they don?t give a f*** about anybody else??? STEELY DAN
29) Which famously eccentric American studio wunderkind released an acclaimed solo double album in the 1970?s featuring a pop operetta taking up one side entitled ?baby needs a new pair of snakeskin boots?? TODD RUNDGREN ‘SOMETHING/ANYTHING’ And what was his far from flattering nickname? RUNT
30) Which 1970?s Frank Zappa album tells the sad tale of Billy the Mountain, Ethel the Tree (growing off of his shoulder) and FBI agent Studebaker Hawke? (completely useless clue: it?s the only Frank Zappa album I own). JUST ANOTHER BAND FROM L.A.
31) Which former NME writer and soon to be famous female rock star played rhythm guitar briefly with Johnny Moped in 1978? CHRISSIE HYNDE
32) ?and which legendary NME writer (clue: no friend of Sid Vicious) gave up his day job briefly to front the short-lived Subterraneans? NICK KENT – ‘MY FLAMINGO’ WAS A FABULOUS 45 – SEEK IT OUT!
33) On which 70?s Rolling Stones song does Mick Jagger sign off by whispering ?good night ? sleep tight??? ‘FINGERPRINT FILE’ FROM ‘IT’S ONLY ROCK’N’ROLL’
35) Which of these apocryphal stories is actually true ? a) TV quizmaster Bob Holness played the sax solo on Gerry Rafferty?s ?Baker Street?, b) Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath has metal fingers, or c) Rod Stewart played harmonica on ?My Boy Lollipop? by Millie A IS UNTRUE (RAPHAEL RAVENSCROFT IS THE SAX MAN),B & C ARE TRUE – IOMMI LOST HIS FINGERTIPS IN A WORKPLACE ACCIDENT WITH A METAL PRESS – IRON MAN,INDEED!!

Section Five – ‘That’s Entertainment’

36) who was famously described thus at his first screen test – ‘balding, can’t act, can’t sing, can dance a little.’? FRED ASTAIRE
37) which 50’s and 60’s British star appeared in a dreadful movie based on his hit song about an albino baby bull. Have another drink if you can name the movie and the song, because that makes you as much a saddo as I am. TOMMY STEELE, ‘TOMMY THE TOREADOR’ ,’LITTLE WHITE BULL’ (AGAIN MICHAEL, YOU AMAZED ME…)
38) catchphrases…. what would we do without them, eh? Which legends provided the English language with the following gems…? a) ‘stop messing abaht!’ KENNETH WILLIAMS b) ‘shut that door!’ LARRY GRAYSON c) ‘hello playmates!’ ARTHUR ASKEY d) ‘wakey-wakey!’ BILLY COTTON
39) comedians making records… what would we do without them, eh? Which mirth-inducers tickled our fancies with these shellac curiosities from the 1960’s…?
a) ‘Gossip Calypso’ LANCE PERCIVAL b) ‘Goodness Gracious Me’ PETER SELLERS/SOPHIA LOREN c) ‘My Boomerang Won’t Come Back’ CHARLIE DRAKE and d) ‘Right Said Fred’ BERNARD CRIBBENS
40) Elvis had an old one and John Noakes had one that always appeared to be up when it shouldn’t have been – ooo-er missus, to what am I referring? SHEP

Section Six – ‘You know my name, look up the number.’

41) ‘I am not a number, I am a free man!’ Which actor said this, in which TV series? And what was his number? PATRICK MCGOOHAN,THE PRISONER, NUMBER SIX
42) How many Screaming Dizbusters did the Blue Oyster Cult warn us about? SEVEN
43) Add the number of ?’s tears to the Yardbirds Little Indians and Traffic’s Headmen and what number do you get? 40,106
44) What was the number plate of Bryan Ferry’s girlfriend’s car at the time of the first Roxy Music album (this is not as obscure as you think, folks…!)? CPL9538 (IT’S THE CHORUS OF THE FIRST SONG, ‘RE-MAKE,RE-MODEL’
45) Which LP record sported the catalogue number K50008, although this was impossible to find anywhere on the cover or inner sleeve (much to the annoyance of the woman in Clark’s Electrical in Thurso when I tried to buy this album in the 70’s. ) LED ZEPPELIN FOURTH ALBUM

Section Seven – ‘and when I am in Camelot, I like to push the pram a lot’.

The source of the following lyrical gems, please!

46) ‘ I saw a lion he was standing alone, with a tadpole in a jar’ LED ZEPPELIN, DANCING DAYS, HOUSES OF THE HOLY
47) ‘dancing in the nude and feeling such a dude, it’s a rip-off!’ T.REX, RIP OFF, ELECTRIC WARRIOR
48) ‘ where do we go from here – is it down to the lake, I fear?’ HAIRCUT 100, LOVE PLUS ONE, PELICAN WEST
49) ‘ he went out tiger hunting with his elephant and gun – in case of accidents he always took his mum.’ BEATLES, CONTINUING STORY OF BUNGALOW BILL, THE WHITE ALBUM

And finally! Question 50! ‘what WERE you thinking?’

50) which bands took their names from the following sources…?
a) a giant metal pleasure device in the William Burroughs novel ‘Naked Lunch’? STEELY DAN
b) the victim of a fatal shooting by student Gavrilo Princep? FRANZ FERDINAND
c) the part conjoined names of two Mississippi bluesmen? PINK (ANDERSON) FLOYD (COUNCIL)
d) an acronym of their family stage name? BEE GEES (BROTHERS GIBB OR B.G.’S)
e) a character from the movie ‘Barbarella’? DURAN DURAN (DURAND DURAND)
f) a beer and a desire to get back to the roots of rock ‘n’ roll? CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL
g) a palindrome of their first initials? ABBA
h) a superstitious fear amongst US building contractors? 13TH FLOOR ELEVATORS

If you managed to get through that without swearing, then ‘you’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din’. Actually, which seminal American cosmic rock band recorded a track named after Kipling’s Gunga Din?

Stop it, James.

Until the next one,

Fanx, Ta-Ra


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